I’m approaching (Approaching? Today’s the day!) the fourth anniversary of my recovery, and having neglected my writings here as life on it’s own terms has flowed around me, and wanting to commemorate a pretty cool occasion marking my continued sobriety.

I’m hoping I have a couple posts here in my fingers, soul, heart and mind. Before I get back to all the activities I’ve been enjoying since I got out of the basement! It’s for another post but for a moment let me write how incredible these last four years have been. How amazing it is that I ever used equaled only by my incredulity of having stopped!

We all have many aspects to our personalities. Funny how we can build up traits we don’t have and knock down positive ones that we do. Not funny ha ha, rather funny peculiar!

The United States IRS considers Alcoholism and drug addiction a debilitating disease. In treatment programs I was told that as well. Yet my own feelings of insecurity or inadequacy make me doubt that and I often wonder if this cunning, baffling and powerful disease is in reality a manifestation of my own character flaws.

There is one event in my mind I return to again and again that would seem to substantiate the case for Alcoholism and addiction being a disease. As a very young boy, young enough to have never used drugs recreationally nor understand why a person would use drugs recreationally or as escape. As a child that didn’t understand the concept of ‘partying’ I recall an incident where I was in the bathroom drinking some cough syrup. My mom walked by the door and remarked something to the effect of: “What a strange little boy who drinks cough syrup when he isn’t even sick” You know I would remember this incident from time to time throughout my life, then one day it clicked! It was codeine cough syrup! I must have enjoyed the waking dreams that opiates bring. I know at that age I read a ton of books every week. Mostly fiction. At any rate I can’t imagine I was drinking cough syrup for it’s great taste.

OK gonna go post this. I’ve got some web api I want to get back to. You can read ETMMI (Entirely To Much More Information) about me, my hobbies and businesses at Review or Discard at Will www.rodaw.com.

c ya… – jeffa